Run Run Away

Question:

I can completely relate to this.  I had a miscarriage 8/94 and for the next 13 months that I attempted to get pregnant again, I had serious pregnancy symptoms every single month.  My breasts would swell up and blue veins would pop out!  Every single month, I thought for sure I was pregnant.  I never had swollen breasts at all before my first pregnancy.  However, the month we did conceive again, it was the second month in a row that I did not have this problem.  Consequently, of course, I had no idea I was pregnant. I would have sworn on my own life that I wasn’t!!!  I have the feeling that miscarriage messes up your hormones so you start having exacerbated PMS/pg. symptoms – I only have my experience to back this up, but since I was someone who never had one PMS symptom prior to my miscarriage, this is the only explanation I can think of. I’m sorry about your miscarriage.  Good luck. Kar – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I had a miscarriage at 8.5 weeks on 2/23/96 and I have yet to get my period (6 weeks). It took about five days for the nausea to go away and another week or so before my nipples starting looking normal again. Now I am starting to wonder what’s going on. My nipples are very swollen and cone-shaped again. I sometimes get a little tenderness before my period, but mostly to the touch. These ache just about all the time and are unusually puffy — they only looked this way when I was pregnant. I’ve also been queezy and sleepy. I think I’ve also been a bit bitchier than usual, but I don’t think I can get my DH to confirm that. My question is whether this is somewhat normal after miscarriage, or at least if anyone else experienced the same thing. Are PMS symptoms perhaps increased by the pregnancy that ended six weeks ago? By my BBT, I am expecting to get my period some time next week, but I’m not sure if all that is off too. Seems like an awful long PMS . . . Any info would be appreciated. Thanks, Rebecca

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Okay, let’s say that these lubricants used for the ultrasound wands, "do" kill off the sperm. How long does the lubricant stay up there? So if you go in for an ultrasound on day 13 and you know you’re going to ovulate on day 14, maybe one shouldn’t get the ultrasound done to measure the follicle? I would "think" that the lubricant is still up near the cervix even the day after, no?

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OK, I *know* April Fool’s Day might not be the right time to ask this, but after doing the mad dash to the hospital with a semen sample this morning, my husband and I were trying to figure out this boxer thing . . . Please indulge me : ) He’s trying to figure out if boxers really keep things cooler. He finds that boxers seem warmer to him because there is more skin-to-skin contact, as well as some logistical problems. He thought the argument against briefs was that they keep everything up and in too tight and warm. But what about underwear with a pouch? He says that lifts and pulls forward and seems to give a little fabric between the genitals and his body keeping him cooler, but it’s certainly compacted and supported more than boxers — something he prefers in terms of feel, and I must admit that I prefer in looks. Is there really a difference in sperm production and different types of underwear? Or does it makes sense to go for boxers if his count ends up being a little low? Has anyone ever really noticed a difference after switching from one type of underwear to another? I feel silly asking this, but we really are wondering. Rebecca

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Anyone out there familiar with an RE in Maine? If so, I’d like to know names and general impressions . . . Thanks, Rebecca

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OK, I *know* April Fool’s Day might not be the right time to ask this, but after doing the mad dash to the hospital with a semen sample this morning, my husband and I were trying to figure out this boxer thing . . . Please indulge me : )

Okay, it’s April 2nd, and I’m waiting for my printer to come back from the shop, so let me give you what is probably a much-longer answer than you really wanted  :-).  BTW, when I saw you mention April Fool’s above, the first thought I had was that your AOL screen name "A Breeze" referred to your husband’s reason for NOT liking the boxers… He’s trying to figure out if boxers really keep things cooler. He finds that boxers seem warmer to him because there is more skin-to-skin contact, as well as some logistical problems. He thought the argument against briefs was that they keep everything up and in too tight and warm. But what about underwear with a pouch? He says that lifts and pulls forward and seems to give a little fabric between the genitals and his body keeping him cooler, but it’s certainly compacted and supported more than boxers — something he prefers in terms of feel, and I must admit that I prefer in looks.

I feel qualified to try to help on this one for two reasons:  I’m working on a "low-tech methods to get pregnant FAQ" (yes, I know I promised it in March — I’m working on it!); and also, I’m particular about underwear, so I’ve tried lots of styles.  My DW is also very particular about underwear — hers, and mine  :-). The general advice to switch from briefs to boxers is based on good, sound physiology:  Briefs usually do hold the testicles closer to the body for most men, and the 98.6 degree-F. temperature is too warm for the sperm cells, which tend to flake out over 92-93 degrees.  So, *if* boxers let the testicles remain farther away from the body, then they should help. All the expert opinion I’ve seen, and all the major fertility resources, agree that boxers are supposed to work this way.  However, not all men are the same, and this wouldn’t necessarily be true for your DH. I have to say that boxers definitely are cooler than briefs for me; however, I think he is onto something with the pouch-type briefs, as I’ll explain.  Also, you mentioned "logistical" problems — does this mean the problem of, umm, sitting down on things you don’t want to sit on?  The trick to sitting down with boxers on is to do it slowly, keeping your legs apart.  It does take a little time to get used to them… Here’s my experience, FWIW (and bear in mind that I have no male-factor problem, so feel free to copy my example!):  I have tried all kinds of underwear — briefs, boxers, you name it.  (I have come to the conclusion that there’s no such thing as all-day-comfortable underwear for me… but, hey, we all have our cross to bear… ).   Here is how I would rank them in terms of support and in terms of how cool they feel to me: "Regular" Boxers — not much support at all; definitely cooler than most briefs.  I wear them about half the time, more in the summer, except during sports or when I need more support.  (Playing soccer with boxers on is a *bad* idea!) Knit Cotton Boxers — I just tried these, thanks to a suggestion from someone on this group (thanks Rachel!) — support is minimal but better than regular boxers; coolness is similar to regular boxers. Boxer-Briefs — these are the new kind that look like briefs but extend down the legs — as you would think, they are in-between boxers and briefs on both support and coolness.  I wear these fairly often during the winter; they definitely keep your *thighs* warmer than any other underwear. Pouch-Front Briefs — I think your DH has a good point about these!  They are definitely cooler than any other kind of briefs, and might be cooler than boxer-briefs.  On support, they are also pretty good.  I wear them a lot more often than regular jockey briefs, for the same reasons as your DH. Regular Jockey Briefs — These are definitely tight (we called them "tighty-whities" in high school ), and therefore keep the testicles and everything else down there warmer; they do give a lot of support, which is why most men wear them, I think.  Personally, I have never liked them much, not since puberty anyway; I’ve tried zillions of brands, and only Calvin Klein fit well, but that’s just me, I guess. Bikini Briefs — These are the opposite of regular boxers: tightest of all, and also maximum support.  They are the male-underwear equivalent of sports bras for women, in that they operate by squishing everything totally flat  :-).  Personally, I find them too tight to be comfortable, but my DW likes me in them so I’ll put them on for special nights <*blush*. One more type:  They do make men’s thong underwear, believe it or not!  I have one pair, and they aren’t bad in terms of support and coolness.  However, I have never gotten used to feeling like I’m wearing dental-floss in the back .  (For you women who wear them, I admire your fortitude; and *please* don’t let anything I say discourage you  :-) ). Obviously, everybody’s mileage may vary!  My adivice is to buy several different kinds, and experiment.  Your DH might want to try the boxer-briefs, for example.  Overall, if he wants more support than regular boxers, I’d recommend either the boxer-briefs or the pouch briefs — neither will be as bad for sperm as the regular briefs. I hope this helped someone out there… Roger (who never thought he’d be discussing his underwear with total strangers over the Internet, or anywhere else for that matter…) real name:     Roger A. Hunt real home:     Grand Valley State University,                     Allendale/Grand Rapids/Holland, Michigan — "Cruising the Information Superhighway at 35 miles per hour,           in the passing lane… with a hat on."

Response:

I have lost twenty five pairs of nuts to the cutoff problem and still have been able to father a small country.  I think you infertility people obviously are represted in you sex life.  Try using popcorn butter on your dicks during sex.

Are you trying to tell us you don’t have any balls? Roger (ignoring this person, but had to ask) real name:     Roger A. Hunt real home:     Grand Valley State University,                     Allendale/Grand Rapids/Holland, Michigan — "Cruising the Information Superhighway at 35 miles per hour,           in the passing lane… with a hat on."

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Roger (unlicensed fashion consultant)

Roger, I think you should consider: Roger, the unlicensed passion-fashion consultant. just an idea (or anything to keep this thread going), jennifer

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I have lost twenty five pairs of nuts to the cutoff problem and still have been able to father a small country.  I think you infertility people obviously are represted in you sex life.  Try using popcorn butter on your dicks during sex.

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  do not flame me for this one.  but i must admit, i enjoy his witty response.

: I have lost twenty five pairs of nuts to the cutoff problem and still : have been able to father a small country.  I think you infertility people : obviously are represted in you sex life.  Try using popcorn butter on : your dicks during sex.

Response:

Hi Roger, I’ve been lurking on this newsgroup for a while and have a question somewhat related to this topic, so I thought I’d help keep the thread going  ;-)

ALL RIGHT Cheryl!  We’ll make the Guinness record book yet  :-). My DH wears those tight spandex running shorts and I can imagine all the little sperms he’s cooking when he comes back steaming and drenched in sweat.  Should I be trying to convince him to wear sweats or looser shorts?  Of course, the issue of support comes in to play here, too – he claims the tights hold him "together" and it would be like me running without a bra.  Any opinion? Thanks, Cheryl

Hi Cheryl, I haven’t seen any studies or other hard evidence on that question, but my guess is that wearing them for an hour or so isn’t going to be as bad as wearing tight briefs all day, or going into the hot tub.  FWIW, I wear the spandex bike shorts when I run too, and I don’t have a male-factor problem, so they can’t be TOO bad… I think several things are relevant here: *  Unless he’s training for a marathon or running for hours at a time, he’s probably not keeping the shorts on for any great length of time.  The effect is cumulative, so this isn’t the same as wearing, say, bikini briefs, or even Levi’s, all day long every day. *  My experience is that the testicles don’t get as hot during running as they do in a hot tub.  Running generates a breeze, and all that nice sweat that your DH produces is also cooling him off; so overall everything stays cooler. *  The bike shorts are better for keeping cool than other exercise shorts, because they "breathe" and allow the air to circulate through them, whereas cotton or nylon gives you a clammy feeling, and feel hotter, to me anyway.  I know I feel hotter down there (and everywhere) when I wear sweats. The support issue IS important — I can testify that if I run or do anything vigorous without support, I’m not gonna feel much like doing anything fertility-related for a while afterwards  :-).  So, he’s right — running in sweats or looser shorts may help one problem, but creates another. Overall, I’d suggest that he keep wearing them for running — the exercise is good for fertility (and health in general) anyway; and if he wears anything else he’s probably just going to get even hotter.  It’s also probably a good idea to run at night or early morning (coolest time), and to run without a shirt, to keep his core temperature down. (I was about to add that the biggest difficulty with this advice is wearing those bike shorts without another pair of shorts over them — it’s kind of embarrassing to do that, because it makes you very, uh, conspicuous.  But then I thought  "Roger, you’ve been describing your underwear and various other intimate details of your life to 23 million people on the Internet… what’s the big problem?!"  :-)  For DH’s with a higher embarrassment factor, maybe it’s another good reason to run at night  :-) ). Hope this helps, Roger (unlicensed fashion consultant) real name:     Roger A. Hunt real home:     Grand Valley State University,                     Allendale/Grand Rapids/Holland, Michigan — "Cruising the Information Superhighway at 35 miles per hour,           in the passing lane… with a hat on."

Response:

Pouch-Front Briefs — I think your DH has a good point about these! They are definitely cooler than any other kind of briefs, and might be cooler than boxer-briefs.  On support, they are also pretty good.  I wear them a lot more often than regular jockey briefs, for the same reasons as your DH. I thought that I had missed something, but my DH has never heard of these either. Can you tell me who makes these and where (chain store wise) ‘we’ might be able to find them.

Where to find them? Wal*Mart has Spaulding ones I think, but the material isn’t as good and the seams are a little itchy. I’m not sure about the Hanes and Fruit of the Loom brands since my DH tired of them quite a while ago. The one’s my DH prefers are Jockey, either the brief or the style that somes down the leg a bit (very sexy). We’ve found them at department stores such as Macy’s and J.C. Penny. For boxer-briefs, he seems to like Calvin Klein, but he still prefers the support of the pouch. Rebecca (still waiting for that darn sperm count to come back so we can know if this is an issue for us)

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Pouch-Front Briefs — I think your DH has a good point about these!  They are definitely cooler than any other kind of briefs, and might be cooler than boxer-briefs.  On support, they are also pretty good.  I wear them a lot more often than regular jockey briefs, for the same reasons as your DH.

I thought that I had missed something, but my DH has never heard of these either. Can you tell me who makes these and where (chain store wise) ‘we’ might be able to find them. Nancy

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Roger, What a great letter!  You gave me a desperately needed chuckle and I will bring your letter home for my DH who REALLY needs a laugh. ( I have not been much fun this week)  Thanks for the info and good luck to both you and your DW. Mary , Portland, OR

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Pouch-Front Briefs — I think your DH has a good point about these!  They are definitely cooler than any other kind of briefs, and might be cooler than boxer-briefs.  On support, they are also pretty good.  I wear them a lot more often than regular jockey briefs, for the same reasons as your DH. I thought that I had missed something, but my DH has never heard of these either. Can you tell me who makes these and where (chain store wise) ‘we’ might be able to find them.

Hmmm, I can ask DW about that when I get home this evening… I think she got mine at someplace like Wal-Mart or Target, but I’m not sure.  If she remembers, I’ll post it tomorrow (Friday.)  Anyone else know? Roger real name:     Roger A. Hunt real home:     Grand Valley State University,                     Allendale/Grand Rapids/Holland, Michigan — "Cruising the Information Superhighway at 35 miles per hour,           in the passing lane… with a hat on."

Response:

Hi Everyone, Rebecca’s being paranoid today . . . I had a miscarriage at 8.5 weeks on 2/23/96 and I have yet to get my period (6 weeks). It took about five days for the nausea to go away and another week or so before my nipples starting looking normal again. Now I am starting to wonder what’s going on. My nipples are very swollen and cone-shaped again. I sometimes get a little tenderness before my period, but mostly to the touch. These ache just about all the time and are unusually puffy — they only looked this way when I was pregnant. I’ve also been queezy and sleepy. I think I’ve also been a bit bitchier than usual, but I don’t think I can get my DH to confirm that. My question is whether this is somewhat normal after miscarriage, or at least if anyone else experienced the same thing. Are PMS symptoms perhaps increased by the pregnancy that ended six weeks ago? By my BBT, I am expecting to get my period some time next week, but I’m not sure if all that is off too. Seems like an awful long PMS . . . Any info would be appreciated. Thanks, Rebecca

Response:

Roger, I loved your response! The details and the flashes of humor are great. Your posts are always a good read.

You’re welcome Rebecca!  Boy, I got more email about this post (all of it nice)… I had no idea men’s underwear generated that much interest among women.  Seems only fair, since us guys have always been interested in what YOU are wearing . BTW, the logistical problems with boxers are sitting on them, having them stick to the thighs when sitting for long periods, and with the shorter ones, falling out completely. He also feels that he has to "adjust" himself much too often. He also thinks ones that don’t stretch have a tendency to bite him in the balls.

I agree completely, those are all drawbacks to the boxers, especially the "fallout problem" with the short ones.  There is a brand, Joe Boxer, that makes them with cool patterns like sword fish and blue whales, but for some reason (saves money, probably) they are too short.  It doesn’t do much good to wear underwear if they don’t cover you up .  So I mostly wear the longer ones that have boring blue & white stripes, or whatever. And we won’t get into the other "fallout problem" — that gap in the front, which is an especially big pain if you sleep in your underwear.  Those flys (flies?) are pretty much useless, anyway.  (I always turn my boxers a little off-center to avoid the problem.) BTW, the solution for that seam that bites him in the balls, is to wear them a little lower on the hips that he would briefs.  That takes a little getting used to, also. Perhaps lightweight, meshy pouches would be good? Perhaps I could make a fortune in underwear design . . . .

Sounds like a great idea to me — the design, and the fortune . Roger, still searching for just the right pair… real name:     Roger A. Hunt real home:     Grand Valley State University,                     Allendale/Grand Rapids/Holland, Michigan — "Cruising the Information Superhighway at 35 miles per hour,           in the passing lane… with a hat on."

Response:

PS.  As those who remember my Valentine’s Day gift will recall, my DW also thinks boxers are sexy, at least silk ones with big red hearts on them <*further blushing*.  So, I don’t get it  What do women want, is it bikini briefs, or silk boxers?  They seem kind of opposite to me, but she likes both…  Is there a Doctor Ruth in the house?

I’ll answer and say that women just like men in underwear : ) I think I have a preference for my husband wearing Jockey’s black pouch-style underwear that comes down the thigh, kind of like bike shorts. He has great legs, and they end just where the muscle definition is at it’s best on most men. The pouch also seems to add emphasis, much the same way a good bra does for women. As for the difference between silk boxers and bikinis, I’d say that the silk boxers *feel* good (for both man and woman), while the bikinis are a more visual thing ; ) They look they hurt though, if man gets aroused. Still sort of amazed that she started this thread, Rebecca

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