Resolutions for 1996

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Question:

: First of all, this may take the lead as the "Best Thread of the Year", however : we need to hurry. : : : Tri-Dork stuff snipped : : and other stuff snipped here…… : This happened to be true, as I had just set a new record on : the scales. I followed this remark by explaining that my butt has been : getting steadily larger since last summer, as a result of my new weight : training regimen. "And I have the proof — my old swim suit can no : longer contain my butt cheeks!" Somehow this seemed to impress no one, : especially the women. Funny, isn’t it, how women just don’t enjoy : discussing butt size at parties? Further proof that I need to meet more : tribabes. : Now how can a weight training program increase the dimensions of one’s "butt : cheeks"? My girlfriend has started to complain that my increase in running : mileage has caused me to lose girth on my "butt cheeks", so I need to know how : to fix this little problem. And if your suit cannot contain one’s "butt : cheeks", is that grounds for disqualification (aka the previous posts on the : poor girls being DQ’d in the running race)? Squats and leg presses can work wonders. I also recommend lunges, but be careful with the weight load. These have really helped my butt to assert itself, after many years of cycling had reduced it to meager proportions. I hope this will pay some dividends next summer, since the gluteals are the biggest muscles in the body. I’m making them my "seat of power" for 1996. As far as girlfriends are concerned, I won’t give advice on HOW to keep them happy, but I will recommend that everyone try to do so. I have never been DQed from a race for immodest display of posterior prowess, but last summer at the shore some friends demanded that I put on shorts over the speedos I had been swimming in. I will add, however, that these were only my male friends. The women didn’t seem to mind. Steve Irish

Response:

–CLARIFICATION– In the wondrous world of UNIX screen emulators and my limited knowledge of it, I posted a note incorrectly in the muddle that appeared on my screen and it may have been offensive. I mistook the person who goes by "Wynnpeace" as the one who wrote the following: As a newcomer to the sport you should learn this, It’s the IRONMAN and the women who run it call themselves IRONMEN

wrote this rather close minded statement. I hope it was clear "you should.." statements can be taken the wrong way and this "you should.." comment was really not in synch with modern culture (in my humble opinion). I commend "Wynnpeace" in both her wish to do an IronWoman event and to be an IronWoman. Again, my apologies to those that may have been offended and to "Wynnpeace". -Rolf Arands — Rolf "Ironman" Arands, Ph.D. (Chemical Engineering) Dept. of Chem. and Biochem. Eng’g, Rutgers University –These are my highly opinionated views, not Rutgers’–

Response:

The race is the IRONMAN and persons who do it are Ironmen, you may call yourself and Ironwoman but the race you completed is called the IRONMAN. The people who do it are IronMen and IronWomen. I’m not trying to change the name of the race. However, I am an IronWoman and that is that. Cathy "IronWoman" Corning

I admire anyone who does an "ironthingy". You can call yourself what ever you want. Congrats. Cheers, richard pre-tinman

Response:

So… are you suggesting we use the term IRONIES? sorry, couldn’t resist

Response:

First of all, this may take the lead as the "Best Thread of the Year", however we need to hurry. Tri-Dork stuff snipped and other stuff snipped here…… This happened to be true, as I had just set a new record on the scales. I followed this remark by explaining that my butt has been getting steadily larger since last summer, as a result of my new weight training regimen. "And I have the proof — my old swim suit can no longer contain my butt cheeks!" Somehow this seemed to impress no one, especially the women. Funny, isn’t it, how women just don’t enjoy discussing butt size at parties? Further proof that I need to meet more tribabes.

Now how can a weight training program increase the dimensions of one’s "butt cheeks"? My girlfriend has started to complain that my increase in running mileage has caused me to lose girth on my "butt cheeks", so I need to know how to fix this little problem. And if your suit cannot contain one’s "butt cheeks", is that grounds for disqualification (aka the previous posts on the poor girls being DQ’d in the running race)? OK, you guys brought the subject up and now I’d like to know something. At the pool, I recently noticed that all of the older swimmers, those in their 70’s -80’s have no butt, not even a little hump that might pass for one. Most seem to be fit and strong through the shoulders and some have pot bellies or heavy droopy boobs, but(t) behind all they have are sagging suits. I assume that the muscles in the derriere have atrophied. I would like to know if this is inevitable. Have older Tri’s found the sport to benefit in staving off the dreaded butting-pruning scythe? Sorry to ask but it’s out-of-season here and it’s not possible to do some discrete checking that a race would allow.

As for butt cheek atrophy, do you mean the women, the men or both? We do not have any septe- or octegenarian swimmers on our team, but if we did I hope I could avoid measuring their butt cheeks. No offense to you older triathletes, but… And what is this "butting-pruning scythe" thing? Is this some sort of butt fungus? I’ve never looked closely at the derrier of an older person, so I wish to avoid having to do this. And, if I can stave off something dreadful happening to my butt, I need to know. Would any of that thigh cream help back there? Marty — Marty Miller Proprietor of The Triathlete’s Web http://w3.one.net/~triweb

Response:

I have but two resolutions for 1996 (or 1997…) 1. Beat my friend Mark in a tri (he is a bullet on the bike) 2. Beat some guy called FeDude at an Ironman race somewhere Enough of this spiritual growth – exercise is good stuff. Cheers. -Rolf — Rolf Arands, Ph.D. | |

Response:

Tri-Dork stuff snipped and other stuff snipped here…… This happened to be true, as I had just set a new record on the scales. I followed this remark by explaining that my butt has been getting steadily larger since last summer, as a result of my new weight training regimen. "And I have the proof — my old swim suit can no longer contain my butt cheeks!" Somehow this seemed to impress no one, especially the women. Funny, isn’t it, how women just don’t enjoy discussing butt size at parties? Further proof that I need to meet more tribabes. Steve Irish

OK, you guys brought the subject up and now I’d like to know something. At the pool, I recently noticed that all of the older swimmers, those in their 70’s -80’s have no butt, not even a little hump that might pass for one. Most seem to be fit and strong through the shoulders and some have pot bellies or heavy droopy boobs, but(t) behind all they have are sagging suits. I assume that the muscles in the derriere have atrophied. I would like to know if this is inevitable. Have older Tri’s found the sport to benefit in staving off the dreaded butting-pruning scythe? Sorry to ask but it’s out-of-season here and it’s not possible to do some discrete checking that a race would allow. Your’s seriously, Paul

Response:

As a newcomer in the sport, my resolutions are: 1) Prepare for a 1997 IronWOMAN

<snip As a newcomer to the sport you should learn this, It’s the IRONMAN and the women who run it call themselves IRONMEN

People who go around starting sentences with "you should…" scare me. These are the 90’s "Wynnpeace". Get with the program. -Rolf — Rolf "Ironman" Arands, Ph.D. (Chemical Engineering) Dept. of Chem. and Biochem. Eng’g, Rutgers University –These are my highly opinionated views, not Rutgers’–

Response:

OK, back to the subject at hand: 1. Complete my first Ironman distance race at Ironman Canada. After this I plan to sign my name "Stephen Irish Fe.M." 2. Start dating a triathlete. Not that the women I’ve dated in the last few years haven’t been wonderful in their own ways, but there were always things that they just didn’t understand. ("No, I can’t go to dinner with your friend from out of town, I have to swim.") Plus, tribabes are hot. Does anyone have Fernanda Keller’s phone number? 3. Break 4:30 at the Cambridge 1/2 ironman. 4. Get some really huge legs, and a big butt to match. It seems to work for Spencer Smith… Steve Irish

Response:

Actually I call them ’posties’ – gender is unimportant. Prepare for a 1997 IronWOMAN Is that a race or a person???

I wonder whether you were actually confused by this or just picky. I have no problem with someone calling themselves an IronWoman or refering to the race as IronWoman. We all know what the ‘official’ name is. Cheers, dt. TRI-ing (dave thomson) http: //www.actrix.gen.nz/users/thomsond/index.html NEW: The NZ Triathlon Page: http://www.actrix.gen.nz/users/thomsond/nztri.html I do not speak for ECNZ in any capacity

Response:

: OK, back to the subject at hand: : y : 4. Get some really huge legs, and a big butt to match. It seems to work : for Spencer Smith… : : Steve Irish : Steve, : I’d be VERY careful copying Spencer Smith. I tried to and it : didn’t do squat for my performance. I should however explain that : instead of going for the monster quads of the Smith lad, I took : the easy route and let my blonde hair grow into a ponytail. Heck : I even got some really cool shades and still no increase in : performance! : Spencer and I are extremely similar in alot of regards. : We are both men, both triathletes, both blonde, both have : ponytails, both do triathlons in the same order, we’re both very : consistant, both have accents, both have QR wetsuits, put our : pants on one leg at a time, both hate drafting, both weigh about : the same (too bad he’s so tall, from my perspective anyway) etc, : etc…. : I can’t figure out why he’s so fast and I’m so fat. Must be the : training or something. Maybe if he ate at my house and I trained : at his house we’d get closer together performance wise. : TriDork : (still looking to go faster rather than fatter) Yeah, I hear you. I too must wonder why my ponytail (brown) has thus far failed to improve my times. And I have already learned that big butts aren’t all they’re cracked up to be (if you can forgive the expression). I was at a party last night and tried out a new conversation opener: "You know, today is the heaviest day of my life." This happened to be true, as I had just set a new record on the scales. I followed this remark by explaining that my butt has been getting steadily larger since last summer, as a result of my new weight training regimen. "And I have the proof — my old swim suit can no longer contain my butt cheeks!" Somehow this seemed to impress no one, especially the women. Funny, isn’t it, how women just don’t enjoy discussing butt size at parties? Further proof that I need to meet more tribabes. Steve Irish

Response:

With the year coming to a close, what types of resolutions are you planning to make for next year. I’ll be the first to start the thread. 1) Ride more consistantly 2) Break 2:20 at Columbia Triathlon 3) Break 40 min for the 10K (those last few minutes are the hardest 4) Have more fun when training and racing 5) Become a better ambassador for the sport Andy

Response:

Good thread Andy, I’ll join in here. 1) Train smarter not more. 2) Improve swim times by practicing more and more stroke drills. 3) Break 2:45 at St. Anthony’s. 4) Complete first ironman distance race in October – Great Floridian. 5) Help organize my friends into a relay team so they will get exposure to triathlon. 6) And as always, have fun!!!!! Lucy

Response:

1. Participate in at least three triathlons. (1 olympic distance) 2. Boycott the the ITU World Championship and all other draft legal races in the United States. 3. Receive the USA Tri bid to produce the 1997 National Championship. 4. Present the best quality youth triathlons in the USA. 5. Produce off road Duathlon and Triathlons and grow this aspect of the sport. Z Tom Ziebart – Exclusive Sports Marketing

Response:

As a newcomer in the sport, my resolutions are: 1) Prepare for a 1997 IronWOMAN 2) Break a 5:30 century 3) Break a 3:30 marathon 4) Learn how to TRAIN, not just EXERCISE… 5) Have fun with all the training 6) Enlist others into the sport….

Response:

As a newcomer to the sport you should learn this, It’s the IRONMAN and the women who run it call themselves IRONMEN

I beg to differ. I consider myself an IronWoman. If she considers herself an IronWoman too, that’s great. It has nothing to do with being a newcomer. I compete at the Ironman distance, but when I finish it, I am an IronWoman, not an IronMan. I don’t mind calling the race an Ironman. You shouldn’t mind if I call myself an IronWoman. Cathy Corning

Response:

As a newcomer to the sport you should learn this, It’s the IRONMAN and the women who run it call themselves IRONMEN

Response:

OK, my turn: 1. Improve my swim times to the point where I don’t have to try to pass everyone else in the race on the bike. (I have to find a convenient masters’ swim club!) 2. Get in the porta potty line early at every race so I don’t have to suffer extreme stress waiting in line and hearing the waves ahead of mine go off. 3. Remember to bring my bike to every race. (No. I haven’t forgotten it yet. But I’ve forgotten about everything else at least once!) 4. Start thinking about doing longer than "Olympic" distance. (Just thinking, mind you…) 5. Go further in adopting healthy eating habits. (But I love my cookies and cinnamon buns and steak and fries sometimes and beer and… I may be hopeless!) 6. Stop being vain and picky about the triathlon T-shirts I wear among non-triathletes and realize that they don’t give a damn what shirt I wear and that I’m just showing off and trying to get unwarranted attention for my triathlon endeavors when I should realize that I’m just in the sport to improve myself and not for any other reason, no, no, no other reason. Why, I would never seek attention based on such a silly little affectation as being a totally dedicated, 100% into it, "I can’t understand why all the non-triathletes don’t do this and they are fools if they don’t" triathlete who just does a few workouts like 20 mile runs and 100 mile bike rides and 2 mile swims every once in while and who only gets up at 4 a.m. to drive 100 miles to compete in a three hour race. No, I wouldn’t do that! (Do you believe me yet, or should I be even more defensive?) 7. Look at the camera and not look like an idiot in the race photos. 8. Get my name in an Inside Triathlon race results listing (and not for a drafting DQ!). 9. Ride my wind trainer more than 30 minutes this winter. (I hate it–I ride outside whenever I can–which means that my winter riding in Chicago is somewhat limited.) 10. (Really) Adopt a training routine that will enable me to finish an "Olympic" distance race in under three hours, a 10K in under 48 minutes, a 1.5 K swim in under 40 minutes, a Marathon in under 4 hours and average 22 MPH or more for a bike leg. (OK, so I’m old and slow. But I’m improving!)

Response:

OK, back to the subject at hand: y 4. Get some really huge legs, and a big butt to match. It seems to work for Spencer Smith… Steve Irish

Steve, I’d be VERY careful copying Spencer Smith. I tried to and it didn’t do squat for my performance. I should however explain that instead of going for the monster quads of the Smith lad, I took the easy route and let my blonde hair grow into a ponytail. Heck I even got some really cool shades and still no increase in performance! Spencer and I are extremely similar in alot of regards. We are both men, both triathletes, both blonde, both have ponytails, both do triathlons in the same order, we’re both very consistant, both have accents, both have QR wetsuits, put our pants on one leg at a time, both hate drafting, both weigh about the same (too bad he’s so tall, from my perspective anyway) etc, etc…. I can’t figure out why he’s so fast and I’m so fat. Must be the training or something. Maybe if he ate at my house and I trained at his house we’d get closer together performance wise. TriDork (still looking to go faster rather than fatter)

Response:

The people who do it are IronMen and IronWomen. I’m not trying to change the name of the race. However, I am an IronWoman and that is that. Cathy "IronWoman" Corning

Yep, and a damn good one, judging from race results. Mike Tennent WebRunner Running Page — Southeast USA Race Calendar 200+ listings. Advertise your race. FTP Race Apps, FAQ http://www.webrunner.com/webrun/running/running.html

Response:

I don’t mind what you call yourself. Do you call the person who delivers your mail a Postperson, a Postwoman or a Postman?

It depends on whether the postal person was a female or a male. Since I never am home when they deliver, I think of them as a postal person. But this has absolutely nothing to do with triathlon. If you want to start a war of the sexes, let’s not waste bandwidth doing it. I just don’t happen to identify women using male labels. I prefer to find either sex neutral labels, or to use the correct sex-specific label. The race is the IRONMAN and persons who do it are Ironmen, you may call yourself and Ironwoman but the race you completed is called the IRONMAN.

The people who do it are IronMen and IronWomen. I’m not trying to change the name of the race. However, I am an IronWoman and that is that. Cathy "IronWoman" Corning

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t mind what you call yourself. Do you call the person who delivers your mail a Postperson, a Postwoman or a Postman? It depends on whether the postal person was a female or a male. Since I never am home when they deliver, I think of them as a postal person. But this has absolutely nothing to do with triathlon. If you want to start a war of the sexes, let’s not waste bandwidth doing it. I just don’t happen to identify women using male labels. I prefer to find either sex neutral labels, or to use the correct sex-specific label. The race is the IRONMAN and persons who do it are Ironmen, you may call yourself and Ironwoman but the race you completed is called the IRONMAN. The people who do it are IronMen and IronWomen. I’m not trying to change the name of the race. However, I am an IronWoman and that is that. Cathy "IronWoman" Corning

My, you’re good at this! Wish I could manage as even a temper. Kurian Davis

Response:

I don’t mind what you call yourself. Do you call the person who delivers your mail a Postperson, a Postwoman or a Postman? The race is the IRONMAN and persons who do it are Ironmen, you may call yourself and Ironwoman but the race you completed is called the IRONMAN. What started me off on this was Wynnpeace saying: Prepare for a 1997 IronWOMAN Is that a race or a person??? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As a newcomer to the sport you should learn this, It’s the IRONMAN and the women who run it call themselves IRONMEN I beg to differ. I consider myself an IronWoman. If she considers herself an IronWoman too, that’s great. It has nothing to do with being a newcomer. I compete at the Ironman distance, but when I finish it, I am an IronWoman, not an IronMan. I don’t mind calling the race an Ironman. You shouldn’t mind if I call myself an IronWoman. Cathy Corning

Response:

The people who do it are IronMen and IronWomen. I’m not trying to change the name of the race. However, I am an IronWoman and that is that. Cathy "IronWoman" Corning

And you have quite an iron will also. Could I borrow a little? Paul

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