Anxiety if interaction is successful?

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Question:

jizzlob…@intergate.com wrote in news:1120269206.229228.40390@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com: >> I changed my strategy. Any female must prove herself and not the >> opposite. > Good for you. Look at the (few) chapters of my "I Got Laid" series and > you would see how I put little effort into it. But then I don’t get > laid as much as I want to.

"Let me take a look at your resume, Miss Jones…hmmmmm…well I do believe you are qualified to suck my cock. Perhaps…*over* qualified? NOW SELL IT, BITCH! DO YOU WANT THE POSITION OR NOT?" — "Are you going to torture him?" "What would you do?" "I’d torture him." –Dog Soldiers.

Response:

>Good for you. Look at the (few) chapters of my "I Got Laid" series and

you would see how I put little effort into it. >But then I don’t get laid as much as I want to. Then maybe that technique isn’t working? If you guys would lower your standards to rock bottom levels it wouldn’t take much effort at all. The skanky girls are pretty direct about their attraction to a guy.

Response:

JimSummers wrote: > Yesterday I was really clicking with this lady and said all of the right > things but hours later after I went home I started feeling nervous because > it had gone well! Maybe I’m afraid of what Baba mentioned last year about > how every social step just leads you further and further toward more > vulnerability and pressure put on you to perform and to be "normal"

Abso-fucking-lutely. The women I’ve mentioned before on this newsgroup (like coffee girl), whenever things seemed to be going "well" with them, it just stressed me out more. I’ve fallen so deep into a rut that any sign of success is threatening.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > That’s the very definition of anxiety! If we could channel our minds > > into productive areas we’d be marathon running PhD musicians and > > linguist millionaires! > > KC > lol good point. Focus is everything. What happens with a person > depends on who or what they focus on. What’s bad is when the mind > focuses into a repetitive cycle that seems inescapable. It’s like a > vinyl record skipping. Unless you pick up the needle or jolt the > machine it will keep skipping until the power is shut off. One of the > ways to "unskip" a mind is to focus on something other than what you > find yourself getting trapped by. Hobbies are excellent forms of what > are sometimes called moving meditation. A hobby is a place where you > can lose yourself. Not sure about using hobbies too much, but they are > an excellent way to get the music playing again. My hobby is > gardening. > rgds, > lisa

That’s an excellent anaology Lisa, but a bit different from what I experienced. My experience would be more like 5000 volts of electricity running through the record player instead of the standard 120. KC

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -KC Carter wrote: > > > That’s the very definition of anxiety! If we could channel our minds > > > into productive areas we’d be marathon running PhD musicians and > > > linguist millionaires! > > > KC > > lol good point. Focus is everything. What happens with a person > > depends on who or what they focus on. What’s bad is when the mind > > focuses into a repetitive cycle that seems inescapable. It’s like a > > vinyl record skipping. Unless you pick up the needle or jolt the > > machine it will keep skipping until the power is shut off. One of the > > ways to "unskip" a mind is to focus on something other than what you > > find yourself getting trapped by. Hobbies are excellent forms of what > > are sometimes called moving meditation. A hobby is a place where you > > can lose yourself. Not sure about using hobbies too much, but they are > > an excellent way to get the music playing again. My hobby is > > gardening. > > rgds, > > lisa > That’s an excellent anaology Lisa, but a bit different from what I > experienced. My experience would be more like 5000 volts of electricity > running through the record player instead of the standard 120. > KC

What happened? rgds, lisa

Response:

I don’t know if my experience is meaningful to you at all, but yes, I do have anxiety after a positive interaction with someone new, and have a tendency to pick it apart trying to figure out if I screwed up and if they really like me. I fortunately don’t have to deal with that with strangers on a romantic front anymore, although I still sometimes worry about my interactions with my husband. — -=Lola —————- You’re living in your own private Idaho Living in your own private Idaho Underground like a wild potato. –B52s.

Response:

Yes. that is what scares me the most about female interaction. I can put a ‘normal’ front for most people I have to interact with during the day, but any potential girlfriend will have to be shown my messed up true self. That’s when they will turn and run.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -KC Carter wrote: > lisa wrote: > > JimSummers wrote: > > > Yesterday I was really clicking with this lady and said all of the right > > > things but hours later after I went home I started feeling nervous because > > > it had gone well! Maybe I’m afraid of what Baba mentioned last year about > > > how every social step just leads you further and further toward more > > > vulnerability and pressure put on you to perform and to be "normal" > > > Does anyone else feel this way? > > Yes. Analytical types will analyze the back of a cereal box if they > > have enough time. > > Based on my own experiences, a few things immediately spring to mind: > > Fear of success relates to what you’re saying. Also, if you are being > > forced into a "normal" mode when you know that standard is not your > > standard, you’re going against your nature. Remember that normal is > > standard and standard is average, which is what numerically more people > > are. What’s so great about average anyway? Also, you’ve probably been > > persecuted in some way by the "normal" people, so doing the normal > > thing probably triggers all kinds of insecurities. > > Back to analytical patterns… even though it’s your nature to > > analyze, it doesn’t mean that the mind should be allowed undisputed > > reign over you 24/7! > That’s the very definition of anxiety! If we could channel our minds > into productive areas we’d be marathon running PhD musicians and > linguist millionaires! > KC

lol good point. Focus is everything. What happens with a person depends on who or what they focus on. What’s bad is when the mind focuses into a repetitive cycle that seems inescapable. It’s like a vinyl record skipping. Unless you pick up the needle or jolt the machine it will keep skipping until the power is shut off. One of the ways to "unskip" a mind is to focus on something other than what you find yourself getting trapped by. Hobbies are excellent forms of what are sometimes called moving meditation. A hobby is a place where you can lose yourself. Not sure about using hobbies too much, but they are an excellent way to get the music playing again. My hobby is gardening. rgds, lisa

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -lisa wrote: > JimSummers wrote: > > Yesterday I was really clicking with this lady and said all of the right > > things but hours later after I went home I started feeling nervous because > > it had gone well! Maybe I’m afraid of what Baba mentioned last year about > > how every social step just leads you further and further toward more > > vulnerability and pressure put on you to perform and to be "normal" > > Does anyone else feel this way? > Yes. Analytical types will analyze the back of a cereal box if they > have enough time. > Based on my own experiences, a few things immediately spring to mind: > Fear of success relates to what you’re saying. Also, if you are being > forced into a "normal" mode when you know that standard is not your > standard, you’re going against your nature. Remember that normal is > standard and standard is average, which is what numerically more people > are. What’s so great about average anyway? Also, you’ve probably been > persecuted in some way by the "normal" people, so doing the normal > thing probably triggers all kinds of insecurities. > Back to analytical patterns… even though it’s your nature to > analyze, it doesn’t mean that the mind should be allowed undisputed > reign over you 24/7!

That’s the very definition of anxiety! If we could channel our minds into productive areas we’d be marathon running PhD musicians and linguist millionaires! KC

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Troll wrote: > jizzlob…@intergate.com wrote in > news:1120266842.611385.174420@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com: > > Troll wrote: > >> I have stopped caring to interact with females. I treat them like > >> shit or little boys if they behave and that’s all. I have been doing > >> this for the past few weeks and it has helped me immensely. No more > >> trouble. After all, if a female really wants to be with you she will > >> have no shame to show it clearly instead of implying it. No more self > >> torturing about whether she likes you or not. > >> As a matter of fact, you finally learn to live alone and find it > >> doesn’t deserve the trouble chasing pussy and dates. No unnecessary > >> expenses, no mind games and manipulation, no anxiety trying to make > >> some bitch like you, no rejection and no frustration. If you really > >> need pussy, pay for some escort, or even better get a good sex toy. > > This would be believable if it wasn’t coming from someone who is > > seemingly obsessed with female behavior. > I changed my strategy. Any female must prove herself and not the opposite.

Good for you. Look at the (few) chapters of my "I Got Laid" series and you would see how I put little effort into it. But then I don’t get laid as much as I want to.

Response:

Yes. Analytical types will analyze the back of a cereal box if they have enough time. Based on my own experiences, a few things immediately spring to mind: Fear of success relates to what you’re saying. Also, if you are being forced into a "normal" mode when you know that standard is not your standard, you’re going against your nature. Remember that normal is standard and standard is average, which is what numerically more people are. What’s so great about average anyway? Also, you’ve probably been persecuted in some way by the "normal" people, so doing the normal thing probably triggers all kinds of insecurities. Back to analytical patterns… even though it’s your nature to analyze, it doesn’t mean that the mind should be allowed undisputed reign over you 24/7! Try to just let things be with your lady friend and try not to allow yourself to get too attached to what happens next. Once the pressure is off of you, you will probably appear more relaxed and that can’t hurt. rgds, lisa

Response:

Troll wrote: > I have stopped caring to interact with females. I treat them like shit or > little boys if they behave and that’s all. I have been doing this for the > past few weeks and it has helped me immensely. No more trouble. After all, > if a female really wants to be with you she will have no shame to show it > clearly instead of implying it. No more self torturing about whether she > likes you or not. > As a matter of fact, you finally learn to live alone and find it doesn’t > deserve the trouble chasing pussy and dates. No unnecessary expenses, no > mind games and manipulation, no anxiety trying to make some bitch like you, > no rejection and no frustration. If you really need pussy, pay for some > escort, or even better get a good sex toy.

This would be believable if it wasn’t coming from someone who is seemingly obsessed with female behavior.

Response:

Yesterday I was really clicking with this lady and said all of the right things but hours later after I went home I started feeling nervous because it had gone well! Maybe I’m afraid of what Baba mentioned last year about how every social step just leads you further and further toward more vulnerability and pressure put on you to perform and to be "normal" Does anyone else feel this way?

Response:

In news:8f10dfce77c61866c213769e6d0cf323@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com, JimSummers <jimsummer…@aol.com> wrote : > Yesterday I was really clicking with this lady and said all of the > right things but hours later after I went home I started feeling > nervous because it had gone well! Maybe I’m afraid of what Baba > mentioned last year about how every social step just leads you > further and further toward more vulnerability and pressure put on you > to perform and to be "normal" > Does anyone else feel this way?

well yeah.

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