Run Run Away

Question:

Now, all my life I’ve been ‘chubby’, never really obese, but no where near thin. About a year ago, my parents where arrested so I went to live with my grandmother, and she’s an elderly Russian Jewish lady, so you can imagine the food. Every meal is a 5 course feast, with snacks inbetween. I was in England at the time, and I went from a small size 8 to a size 12. 2 months later, I went to Israel, and continued eating in this fashion. When I went to hospital about 5 months ago, due to my constant headaches, I weighed in at 63.5 kgs. That’s 140 lbs. At 5"2. Horrible in all aspects, because I felt awful as well. To make things worst, I had agreed to go out with a guy in school with me, and my fear of my body made me wear a corset at all times with him, because I felt embarassed to sit down. Given that this was still winter, I decided it would be perfect to lose weight, since in winter you wear more covering clothes. Summer in Israel is not a place for large clothing. So, in about 2 months, I weighed in at 56 kgs. Today I weigh 53 kgs (116.5 lbs ). I find it depressing that in 3 months I only managed 3 kgs. I have a different boyfriend, who loves me dearly, and we spend alot of time playin’ like kids [rough and tumble in the park, lol], we walk everywhere since he doesn’t have a car, have an active sex life… He’s encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned. I want to lose those final 8 pounds, desperatly, if I could lose 33.5 lbs, I have to be able to lose 8 more, but I’m stuck; I don’t eat chocolate, I’m a vegetarian, I don’t eat junk food, and I can’t go on a low-carb diet. Frankly, potatoes are one of the few vegetables I do like eating, I like eating soup with noodles in it, and I tend to eat half pitas with ketchup in them in the morning [I have odd food cravings]. I don’t know what to do really, I’ve cut down on the pitas, I did increase my calcium intake, which helped in weight loss [3 % milk with a bit of corn flakes, 98% fat free youghurt sometimes, I like the fruit ones]. I go for half hour walks a few times a day, then with my boyfriend we keep moving… I’m at my wits end! My health isn’t great, I can’t do strenious excercise, and I don’t know what else to do! Please share some advice, this is a small goal compared to the 100 lbs some of you have lost.

Response:

and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I wasn’t healthy, and I was doing this for him…. I wonder how one can look great but not be healthy… It sounds counterintuitive.

I wasn’t ill, I received lots of compliments about how great I looked, etc. My skin looked great, my body looked great, etc. But internally (read mentally) I was not healthy. I didn’t feel good about myself and did terrible things to my body to conform to some esoteric standard of beauty. It is impossible actually be healthy when you are eating only enough calories per day to simply function and workout. I was eating a bag of plain popcorn and 2 apples per day. I was very early 20’s and didn’t know better, but can you say eating disorder? That’s the road I was walking down. Not healthy. Sorry I was unclear. Ally 212/181/160

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He’s encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

Ummmm, this statement struck a chord with me. I dated someone who I thought was "better than I deserve" many years ago. He was handsome, charming, sweet, but really wanted me to change my body so that I would look like the girls in the magazines he had plastered all over his wall. I worked incredibly hard, doing 2-3 hours daily in the gym and eating practically nothing for about a year. I looked great, but I wasn’t healthy, and I was doing this for him…. Any changes that will stick must come from YOU and not what your boyfriend wants. If YOU want to tone your stomach do ab exercises. Your current weight does not sound out of proportion to your height, please examine what is going on with you internally rather than letting the external influence your health/mindset. You have already achieved great things, losing the weight you have! Celebrate that! Wanna tone up? Work out. There are plenty of people here that can point you to some excellent websites. Please let us know how all is going with you. Ally 212/181/160

Response:

I’m at my wits end! My health isn’t great, I can’t do strenious excercise, and I don’t know what else to do!

Lose the starchy foods, please.  What you have accomplished to this point is something to be proud of, don’t you think?  But in order to effect a change, something has to be changed. There are people in here who know a whole lot more about this than I do, and I look forward to reading their suggestions.

Response:

At 5"2 … Today I weigh 53 kgs (116.5 lbs ).

Seriously reconsider your goal, and look closely at your age. People who hit 20 years old naturally complete their growth and add weight. I find it depressing that in 3 months I only managed 3 kgs.

Less to lose, slower to lose.  Nothing to lose, must go low calorie to lose.  I am very dubious you actually have any excess given your height. He’s encoureging me to lose weight as well, not really lose weight, but to excersize more so my stomach is more toned.

Sounds good. I’m a vegetarian, I don’t eat junk food, and I can’t go on a low-carb diet. Frankly, potatoes are one of the few vegetables I do like eating, I like eating soup with noodles in it, and I tend to eat half pitas with ketchup in them in the morning

Time to grow up and decide you like veegies.  Sound harsh, is harsh, but you need to be told that right now.  If you are a vegitarian veggies must be plentiful in your food or you will eventually be in trouble. Health or weight, something will crash. [I have odd food cravings].

That’s a sign you aren’t eating right.  Add more veggies no matter what.  Decide that you have grown up and grown-up like veggies, then start eating some.

Response:

yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly. Maybe it’s not *pounds* you have to lose…. -coop

I’ve been there and in the long run, there was always something else he wanted me to change about myself.  It was like he was amusing himself by seeing how far I’d go to please him.  Eventually, he got bored with me and dumped me away.  Thank God.  If your boyfriend is only interested in the superficial you, then he’s not really interested in you. Tonia 221/177/130

Response:

yep, doing it for some boyfriend is silly.

Maybe it’s not *pounds* you have to lose…. -coop

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Nah, he doesn’t want me to be like a cover girl, whenever we go out, he asks me if I’ve eaten today [I'm out alot, so if I go straight from learning out with him, it means I havn't eaten yet], if I say no, he’ll take me straight to eat, so he wants me to be well fed, but he wants me to exercise, which I have a genuine problem with; Swimming, walking, skating, no problem, but things like running, volly ball, etc are not do-able. I’m currently being treated for headaches in hospital [outpatient], and I will just pass out from running even if I only have a slight headache. [I'm not horribly out of shape, if I have no headache, I can happily do cross country running (4 kms last time we did it), but I don't enjoy passing out, which is what the hospital is looking into] He himself isn’t the problem, he never makes comments about my stomach, which I hate, and had encoureged me to go to the beach even though I’m horribly shy of going, but I feel better going with him and knowing I’m not so fat anymore. In regards to veggies; Salads, raw carrots, cauliflower, brocoli, potatoes, artichoke, leak, corn… I do eat, the problem is, my little brother, who is underweight despite eating like a pig, loves meat, so my father focuses on cooking meat more than anything. Which personally, I hate. I tend to eat raw carrots and mushrooms after dinner because there will be very few veggies there. Should I cut down on the starchy food? Argh, if I lived on my own, it’d be so much easier, it’s amaazing I’ve stayed away from the junk food in the house. I still have a bit too much excess on my arms, thighs and stomach, even if my weight is alright for my height, about 8 pounds less is what I could do with. Any  suggesstions? For example, what to eat for breakfast? I don’t like eating in the mornings really, it makes me feel bloated and more sleepy than I already am, but on weekends when I wake up late, I eat cornflakes. Is there something else I should be eating? I was told to drink milk in some form because I had a calciu deficency… And for dinner? Besides meat, there’ll be either pasta, rice or potatoes, I can add simple things to it, but cooking my own dinners isn’t an option. Thank you.

Response:

At the BMI of 21, the right way to get rid of "excess on arms and stomach" is by converting fat into muscle, not by starving yourself further. Starving without exercise will but off other organs before the fat. If you are body conscious on the beach at the BMI of 21, it is overwhelmingly likely that you are not seeing your body in a rational light. And if you look bad, then, maybe exercise can address is better than further starvation. Losing more weight is not a solution for looking more beautiful. Glad to hear that your BF is a supportive person. i

Ig, I’m sure you know that fat can’t be converted to muscle!  One can lose fat and one can gain muscle, but fat can’t turn into muscle. They’re just different stuff. This aside, adding a little muscle might give Roxi a more pleasing shape.  And it can speed up the metabolism a little bit, which can help her lose fat. Chris

Response:

Pretty much what I am doing myself, this year. I lost 5 lbs of weight and added quite a bit to my muscle mass, maybe 2-3 lbs. You have also gained some muscle and lst some fat, if I remember right.

Overall I’ve lost muscle as well as fat.  When you’re already doing serious weight training (and I was competing in weightlifting well before I started dieting), you don’t lose 117 lbs. without losing muscle too.  I didn’t have anywhere near 117 lbs. of fat to lose. Chris 262/145/ (145-150)

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